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Sunday, 17 January 2016

Awkward Introductions

I thought I was the only one that struggled with this aspect of life, until I spoke to a friend a few nights ago. What is it that you struggle with Natalie? AWKWARD INTRODUCTIONS MY FRIENDS.


Let me just set the scene for you guys. You're placed in a social environment where you are new to the people around you. God dang it, you don't know anyone. After a brief moment, your better half, friend or family member introduces you to someone you don't know...


Yep, you guessed it. Here comes the moment that everyone is petrified of, that moment when you have no clue what boundaries this person has, what boundaries they think you have, what boundaries they don't want to overstep, what boundr- OK so there's a lot of boundary issues right now. 

You hear your name being said, you hear their name being said...you completely and subconsciously ignore the person's name.


Your way too engrossed in the inner conflict you are now having with your mind and body. There are no guide books as to what type of person prefers what introductory interaction. 

'Do I go for the stern handshake, or perhaps they'll think I'm a little aggressive? In that case maybe I'll just go for a limp handshake, but then does that just feel wrong? What if they despise handshakes, then I will look rude. Shall I just go for the hug? Maybe they'll think I'm being a little to intimate...'


In that split second your inner self is feeling SUPER awkward. What you don't realise is that your inner self is also your outer self, so you end up making the worst looking smile.


Then comes the moment you're dreading. It's time...to make...THE MOVE.

All of a sudden, a million different ways to hug, smile, hold their hand, make various shifty movements run through your head and nine times out of ten, you do the following (in no particular order):

1. You decide to go in for the hand shake when they go in for a kiss on the cheek. Awkward hand in crotch region.

2.  You decide to go in for a hand shake and immediately regret the clammy hand situation that's going on between you.

3. You decide to go in for a hand shake and they nearly rip your arm off.

4. You decide to go in for a hand shake and you nearly rip their arm off.

5. You decide to go in for a hug but the angle at which you do so, means you end up cradling some odd part of their body, i.e. their head, arm etc.

6. You decide to go in for a hug but the person forcefully sticks out their hand. A swift jab to the stomach occurs to either yourself or vice versa.

7. You decide to go in for a kiss on the cheek but you end up narrowly missing their mouth.

8. You decide to go in for a kiss on BOTH cheeks but they only accept one side, so you get that moment of jerking back and forth like a wet fish. What a pleb.

9. You decide to be brave and go for a kiss and hug combo, leaving the person looking a little weirded out.

10. You do nothing but do that awkward Hi wave with your hand. STUPID NATALIE!


Be at ease, that you're not the only one who messes up with this every day struggle.

Natalie-Ann x

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