This post should have gone out before I found out I was pregnant. However, I still feel it holds relevance now. Perhaps even more relevant now that I’ve experienced a miscarriage. There’s a lot of information that we are missing from our noggins when it comes to fertility and going on this journey. I find that the only education we get on sex, in general, is how to prevent getting pregnant and how to avoid sexually transmitted infections.
They don’t tell you about the possibilities of miscarriage, how challenging it might be to get pregnant, and all the risks that come with falling pregnant and carrying your baby to full term and beyond. With my limited knowledge, I wanted to share my thoughts on fertility and what I feel is important to know as someone who is exploring the fertility journey. Whether you’ve just started or it’s something you’re considering for the future, knowledge is power, and like many women’s health topics, it’s a conversation that isn’t discussed as often as it should do.
Tracking your cycle
Weirdly, the first day of your pregnancy is the first day of your last period. Strange, right? The baby doesn’t exist from day one, other than the egg itself. It hasn’t yet been found by the sperm but that’s how they track how far along you are in your pregnancy.
Tracking your cycle is something I was hot on from the very beginning. I think tracking your periods anyway is important, whether you’re regular or irregular. I found myself to be fairly regular and once we knew we were going to start trying, I would actively fill in my period days into the Flo app – which I highly recommend.
Soon enough, the app gives you the days that you are most fertile and therefore these should be the days you have sex on.
Let it be known that tracking your cycle and trying for a baby on these fertile days definitely takes a bit of the fun out of sex. I think I was so regimental with when we needed to have sex that at times, there was so much pressure, it took all of the love and affection out of it. We quickly eradicated this way of thinking and therefore the successful days, were special.
With the Flo app, I could input all the days I had sex, as well as inputting any symptoms after the ovulation cycle had ended. It also tells you when you should start testing to see if you’re pregnant.
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Learning about miscarriage
With the experiences I’ve had so far, I can only comment on the one miscarriage that I had before I, fortunately, got pregnant. I know others who’ve had much more traumatic and heart-breaking experiences whereby they’ve lost children at childbirth or have struggled to get pregnant through natural conception and through IVF. Doing the research and getting a better understanding of all the possibilities and likelihoods of your fertility journey is important. Even though I was blissfully naive about getting pregnant and not needing to worry about infertility problems, I never thought I’d experience a miscarriage – particularly when it came to my first pregnancy.
I wish I’d done more research into miscarriage and understood that it’s so common for miscarriages to occur.
Did you know that about 10 to 20 in 100 pregnancies (10-20%) end in miscarriage? While it’s a relatively small percentage, per 100 people, you’re likely to know a number of women in your life who experience or will experience a miscarriage in their fertility journey.
Reading up on those statistics post-miscarriage certainly helped with my grieving process and stopped me from self-criticising myself or my body for doing something wrong to cause that miscarriage.
Pre-pregnancy vitamins
Both myself and Sam started taking pre-pregnancy vitamins before trying to conceive. While I think everyone is different and it may not be as effective for everyone, I do believe that pre-pregnancy vitamins are good to have. It meant that I had started taking folic acid, as well as plenty of other vitamins that would hopefully help me conceive easily. Before my miscarriage, I had stopped drinking and started taking these vitamins around a month before trying to get pregnant. I was very much in the mindset that I wanted to ensure my body was ready and at its healthiest to help carry a child.
Of course, my reality wasn’t like that initially so I think it’s good to keep an open mind when exploring vitamins and medication to take prior to your journey into fertility. I took Viabiotics Pregnacare Conception tablets for a brief period of time before trying and whilst trying.
Avoiding the regimented routine
One of the things that I think is natural to do when you’re trying for a baby is to be regimented in your routine. You only have a certain amount of days where you’re ovulating and therefore the most fertile to get pregnant. Of course, there’s still a chance to get pregnant outside of this period because interestingly sperm can live in your cervix for up to five days – how crazy is that?
For me, I was pretty strict with my husband and I think that killed a lot of the romance that comes with sex. My advice for both myself and for anyone trying to get pregnant is to take your time. Don’t rush it and don’t pressure either yourself or your partner to make every ‘session’ successful. Also, try not to get stressed. It’s easy to feel like it’s a time-restricted period of your life but it’s also one that should be enjoyable.
Hopefully, these tips help you with your own fertility journey, should you be going on it soon or in the future.
