Wow, it’s been nearly four months of motherhood and I am exhausted mentally and physically. My bones feel fragile, I’m running on multiple cups of coffee per day and I’m going days without a shower. However, life has never been so beautiful. Waking up to see that beautiful little face beaming up at me is what gets me rolling out of bed, greasy hair and all.
Despite this, a lot has changed and that is a big shift that I wasn’t necessarily prepared for. I’m mourning my old life and came to the realisation in the first few days that life is never going to be the same again. Myself and my husband don’t have the same freedom as we had before and I think I was naive to that when we decided to start trying for a baby.
Navigating your life as a first-time mum is challenging and I’m still learning. I’m using my blog and social media feeds now as a chance to share my experiences with any other mums or soon-to-be-mums who are out there, reading or following my feeds. Here are some of the tips I’d recommend when it comes to navigating a new life as a first time mum.
Those first few days are weird
Let me tell you know, the first week of being a first-time mum is so bizarre. No one really tells you what to do once you leave the hospital because honestly, I think most people forget! As it’s still pretty fresh, my advice is to just live it day to day. You might have a baby that only wants to nap on you and that means taking shifts with your partner or getting help from a loved one if you’re a single parent. If you’re really on your own, then a Moses basket really helped Sonny nap and I think would have helped from day one.
The next to me that we have was just too big and only in the last two weeks – he’s three months and two weeks at the time of writing this – has he just gone into the next to me because he’s outgrown the Moses basket.
Everything about that first week is confusing, overwhelming and all of the emotions you could possibly feel in fact. With that in mind, just give yourself a bit of forgiveness in the sense that this is such a new experience.
Try to keep any external and internal pressure at arm’s length
There are going to be plenty of mums and parents willing to throw in their two cents – or pennies if you’re a Brit – on how to parent and what to do as you navigate those first few days, weeks and months as a new parent. My advice is to not feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to. It’s important that you do you and do what’s best for both you and baby. Of course, getting advice is helpful because everything is new and unknown.
If you feel pressured, politely tell the person thank you but you’ll do it your own way. A lot of the pressure does come internally though and it’s hard to ignore that voice in your head that’s trying to discredit all that hard work you’re doing. Try to correct any of those negative thoughts that finds its way into your brain.
Get a pet
There is something about having a pet that can really help you to get ready to be a parent, and it’s something that you are certainly going to want to think about here. If you have a pet on your side, it’s going to mean that you have practice looking after something – from getting the dog food ready to making sure they are getting enough exercise, it’s all practice. So this may help you a lot in starting to feel more like a parent already.
Get outside when you are ready
I cannot stress this enough. Even though we went out for a walk to the hospital and back where we live – which is about ten minutes if that – I wasn’t ready for that walk. I was incredibly paranoid, thinking that someone was about to attack me or my baby and I gripped that pram handle like it was glued to my body. Completely normal because the baby you once had in your belly is now out in the world and just days after surgery, I felt vulnerable.
While it’s great to get outside, it’s important to do it when you and only you are ready to do it. It’s a big step and one that you don’t want to be pushed into doing too soon.
Communicate with your partner
Navigating parenthood as a pair has it’s challenges. You’ll be arguing over who got the most sleep last night – to the minute may I add. You’ll both be sleep deprived and overwhelmed emotionally. It’s therefore important to communicate and to not make everything a competition. I see our parenting now as a balance of energy.
Talk to your partner and see where you’re at when it comes to energy levels. Are you at 80% and your partner is at 30%? Well, let your partner have a couple of hours in bed and vice versa. It’s a juggling act and one that you might not solidify straight away.
Soak up every moment
I’ve taken three photos so far, one for every month of Sonny’s growth and looking at them in comparison just goes to show how quickly he’s growing. Therefore, live by this saying – The days are long but the years are short! Soak up every moment that you have with your baby and your family as a whole. I’m nearly four months in and I want everything to slow down. But at the same time, I’m excited for every coming month ahead with my family and new chapter of my life.
What tips would you give as a first time mum or mum of – well however many you have. Let me know in the comments below.
*Disclaimer – This is a collaborative post.
