Stressing Out With My Oyster Card

I seriously think I’ve turned into a goldfish. I cannot for the life of me remember what I got up to on Wednesday. I know I was at work but I’m sure I did something. I KNOW! It’s literally just come to me as I’m writing this blog. I had a hilarious Skype chat with my parents and Sam, which just went terribly wrong. Basically, I’d planned to Skype my mama and papa in the hope of creating a strongly worded letter to TFL for their lack of assistance in helping me with my Travelcard. I know I missed writing a blog for Wednesday but here’s what happened. I tried to renew my monthly travel card as normal on my Oyster card last Thursday. However, as I tapped out after paying the extortionate fee of £219, the machine FAILED to read the card properly, so told me that my card would not be charged. I thought to myself, oh well, that must mean my money is still in my account. 

OystercardWell no that wasn’t the case. They’d taken the money out of my account as soon as my debit card was authorised but BEFORE I tapped out. (greedy *insert naughty word here*) So, therefore, my money went into a holding account and I was told I wouldn’t receive this back for three working days. I rang up the helpline office and they gave me no indication that the card may be faulty or damaged. Thankfully I did have £15 worth of pay as you go on my Oyster card so I used that for travelling into work and back. It also helped that I was going out of London for the weekend for Sam’s friend’s wedding which I’ve already told you about. So fast forward to this Wednesday just gone. I’d gone to the machine outside Crayford (stupid mistake again) and tried renewing my travel card seeing as the money had gone back in. IT DID IT AGAIN, DIDN’T IT?!!!

By this point, you can imagine me silently cursing myself as just seconds before I was thinking of going to the office itself and renewing it there. Typical! So there I am again complaining to the woman at the ticket office who can only offer that I buy a daily travel card for £8.90 to get into London (as by this point I had no money left on my Oyster card) to go to the underground and replace my Oyster card with a new one.

Now I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced the wonderful and kind personalities of the underground staff but every time I go down there I always get someone who’s pulling a face like ‘what do you want?‘ This woman had such an attitude I nearly started shouting because she wasn’t listening to what I was trying to say. Here’s the conversation:

Me: Hello, I’ve come down here to replace my oyster card for free. It’s not letting me top up and I rang up the Tfl helpline who said I could get a replacement one for free as this one might be damaged.

Grumpy Guts: Give me your card…..*scans it*.…..There’s nothing wrong, look *points to the screen* nothing wrong.

Me: Well there obviously is beca-

GG: Look, nothing wrong, it says you made a journey this morning..look.

Me: Yes I am aware of that but it’s not letting me top up.

GG: Look though it’s not damaged.

Me: I KNOW it says that but I can’t top it up, it won’t allow me to put any money on.

GG: So what do you want me to do? Replace the card or shall I put your travel card on this card here?

Me: NO!! (At this point I couldn’t understand why she was giving me a choice between replacing and trying to top up on a card that I clearly stated wasn’t working) I want to replace my old card with a new one.

Thank heavens she gave me a new card, but there was just no need to give so much attitude. So fast forwarding right to my Skype chat with the parents. The Skype chat didn’t happen. Albeit, we got onto the call but she couldn’t hear a word I was saying. Introducing Sam to the mix. Sam I believe was on the toilet at the time (to all our friends, this is of no surprise). He doesn’t at first know what’s happening but soon clocks on to the fact that my mother can’t hear a word that’s being said.

Sam: (shouting like a scared child) DEBBIE, DEBBIE! Speak to me! DEBBIE DEBBIE! Let me in, DEBBIE I LOVE YOU! DEBBIE DEBBIE.

It sounded a bit like a twisted version of Titanic where Rose shouts to Jack that she’d never let him go. She did obvs. But this was just hilarious, to the point I was tearing up. So, unfortunately, we didn’t get a skype chat but what I got was a hilarious few minutes of Sam shouting out to an unknowing mother. Priceless. In other news, my video has gone live so make sure you check it out. It’s the LUSH HAUL!

Oyster Card


Signature for Natalie


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London, UK