Well hey there folks!
It’s been a while, especially if you only read my blogs and not watch my YouTube videos. I suddenly thought today though, HEY I REALLY NEED TO GET BACK TO BLOGGING. I didn’t actually shout this thought out loud, I just wanted to show you how serious I was about the thought process….I’m going to stop, sorry.
So I’m definitely going to keep at this blogging malarkey but I’m going to try and make it more relatable rather than just talking about what I did with my day. Frankly, my days are boring at the moment so it would be pointless doing so. Instead, I’ll only post when it’s something important or it’s a topic that has interested me in recent days.
To follow on from this, I wanted to bring to light that it’s been a year since Robin Williams passed away.
Firstly, where the hell did that year go?! And secondly, it got me thinking that our lives are so very valuable and we really need to make the most of the time we spend with our family and friends. Robin Williams was the pinnacle of comedy for me. I remember growing up and seeing many of his films year in, year out and he never failed to make me laugh. His ability to pull off the funniest of faces and characters, inspired me as an actress to explore my comedic skills (or lack of) It just goes to show that even the happiest of us can have bouts of depression and not even realise. Living down in London for the past year has been amazing but has also had its difficult times. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for the first time, I’m out in the real world and it’s hard to juggle the balance of work, friends and me time. I’m going to be brave and say that I believe I’ve had points within the past year where something has happened which spikes what I believe is a period of depression. The biggest one being rejections and the constant applications when it comes to castings. You’re fighting for roles that are being applied by hundreds of others and when you eventually get shortlisted or make it down to the final 4 of a project, getting cut there and then can be devastating.
I’ve always avoided the word depression for fear that I’m wrongly using it and that maybe I’m just feeling sad. However, it’s the point where you step away from yourself and you realise that those past couple of days where you thought you were just ‘sad’ was actually something a little more serious. You’re mind plays tricks on you, telling you that everything you’re doing is pointless, applying for jobs and castings is pointless because you’re not good enough. Finding acting jobs is like applying for a job every day and what comes with that is blanket rejection emails and the occasional break. I am my biggest critic and for the first time in my life, I’m going to be honest with myself and say that I am one of many people who has dealt with feelings of self-worth when it’s come down to my career.
I think without going into too much detail or making this post seem incredibly morbid, I think we all at some stage in our life, hit rock bottom. Some manage to get up and brush themselves off, whilst others take a little more time. I find it helpful talking to my family and friend when I start to feel down. I don’t think they realise that just saying ‘you’ll be fine’ or ‘i’m here for you’ is enough to pick me up and dust me off.
Robin Williams, you were and are still an inspiration to me, both as an actor and as a person. You’re death is not in vain and hopefully it will make people realise that even though some people may appear to be happy, you never really know whether they are or not.
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