Ever wondered what transforms a normal rest of the UK person into a miserable, soul-less Londoner? Well let me tell you…
1. TOURISTS. SO MANY TOURISTS.
|THEY JUST WALK SO SLOWLY AND STARE AT EVERY GOD DAMN THING. YES, IT’S
A GIANT CLOCK. Move on.
2. You cringe every time someone suggests going to a ‘tourist hotspot‘ for fear of becoming….ONE OF THEM.
|No….not MADAME TUSSAUDS!!!|
3. Utter a single word on the London Underground to someone and they’ll think you’re a psychopath.
|Next stop, the funny farm!|
4. Therefore you become an arrogant tosser.
|I KNOW you just didn’t ask me to have a nice day.|
5. You freak the hell out, like a child at Christmas, when everything outside of London is cheaper than what it is in London.
I’m sorry the bottle of wine is only £7 in here? Wait I’m in a bar/pub and not my house or friend’s house drinking. OMFG.
6. You quickly learn to hate public transport. Unless you can afford Ubers everywhere.
|Wait, I pay how much for this?!|
7. You’re probably the poorest person in the whole of the UK. Even though you earn £30k a year.
|Ooo PAYDAY. So take away Rent, Bills and other necessities I’m left with a grand total – Haha WTF?!|
This is all done tongue in cheek, so don’t take it too seriously. To be honest, it’s all true. Not gonna lie.
HATERS GONNA HATE!
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